Coming to an end.

With everyone who went to the airport to say goodbye.  Pretty special. 

I'm in Lima right now having just finished my first leg of my return trip to the States.  I'm coming home.  July 15 is here.  My 9 months in Peru is over.

Where did the time go?! How is that possible?

This was meant to posted some weeks ago, but every time I sat down to write it I couldn't come up with the words.  

I am filled with all sorts of emotions right now.  First I'll start with the emotion of gratitude.  I am incredibly grateful to have had this opportunity.  I am so grateful that I had so many incredible supporters who made this possible through financial donations and PRAYERS.  I am so grateful to have enjoyed 99.9% of the last 9 months.  (The time I went to get a haircut, didn't know how to explain what I wanted due to language barrier issues, and walked out with the craziest, thickest, BIGGEST bangs wasn't exactly enjoyable.  That is the .1% I refer to.)

So as I have established, I am grateful.

But I'm also sad, really really sad.

My wise sister in law wrote me a couple of weeks back, and she put into writing the words exactly what has been going through my mind.

"What ways you have been broken, changed forever! Oh HOW you have been made full! Emptied! And made full again! I can only imagine the tears that bubble up into your eyes as your heart bursts forth due to a lack of words. As Beth Moore once said, "Tears take us somewhere words cannot.  Tears are the liquid language set to the tune of the Holy Spirit's groanings." (romans 8:26)."

Boy have I cried these last several weeks.  But then again I'm a cryer.  I cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I really want some ice-cream, and when I can't seem to fix these dang bangs that the Peruvian hairdresser so kindly gave me.  

Ok, back to my sister in laws wise words.  She said the following…

"I intercede two things for you today.  Grief & Hope.

She wrote to me about grieving because she knew how so terribly difficult it is for me to leave this place, these people, this mission.

I know you are grieving this season ending.  The things you've seen, the streets you've walked, the people you have come to love.  Will you ever see them again? Did you make a difference?  

She talked about hope because I've had many a conversation with her regarding where to go from here, what's changed in my heart, and where I feel He is leading me now.  

Your future, Madi, is not dependent on you.  God wants you at your destination more than you do! You have such a bright future For HE IS YOUR ANCHOR. "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure..." (Heb. 6:19)

So grieve and hope she says.

Y'all, something is going on in my heart.  The plans I was so sure of before, I'm not sure about anymore.  As I start a period of reflection and discernment on what to do next I ask once again for PRAYERS.  

So all in all the point of this post is to say I'm coming home.  My time in Arequipa has come to an end.  I'll be back on American soil eating all of the Chick-fil-A and Tex-Mex food I can get my hands on.  I can't wait to visit with everyone in person, share my stories, and talk incessantly about my experiences.  Stay tuned to here too, because I have a couple more posts coming (the question is when it will get done ha).